Day 4. Wow! I kept myself very busy outside of the house in order to avoid some temptation. You see, most of my drinking was done at home while cleaning like a freak! I did almost ALL my chores while seeping on a drink. I ended up isolating myself, talking less to friends on the phone, avoiding neighbors, I stopped going to my CrossFit gym and stopped my marathon training. I even deactivated my Facebook as I no longer trusted myself on what I would share or post while drinking during the day. Most days I finished a bottle of wine before anyone got home. I was calmed, relaxed, sometimes loopy and the house spotless, dinner cooking by the time my family got home.
So today, I got out. I went to my CrossFit gym (2nd time this week since starting this sober journey) then decided to take my pittbull puppy out to the dog park and get her socialized. I spent nearly 2 hours there and I myself got to socialize a whole lot. I truly enjoyed it. One lady I spoke with mostly even said that I reminded her of a dear friend due to my bubbly personality! 🙂 ME?! A bubbly personality! I thought that part of me was gone. She gave me hope with that comment.
Afterwards, I took my “lil bitch” (that’s what I call her sometimes out of love, I know I know it may not be appropriate but it truly comes from a place of love for her sassy little cute self) out to lunch with me. It was a glorious day with perfect weather.
I was suppose to come home and get chores done and do some grocery shopping but instead for the 2nd day in a row i just HAD to take a nap. I have felt beyond exhausted in sobriety. It’s a little weird as when I was drinking, I never not once took a nap. I would say that the wine would give me energy instead of take it away. Now, while sober I am just thrown off. Any ideas why?
I also got a little irritated and craved for my deal ole friendenemy, red wine. Nothing quenched the craving. I tried cold tea, hot tea and water with lemon. Nothing helped. I wanted to just give up and go to bed but I needed to make dinner still. So I had the idea of making myself a virgin bloody mary. I am not sure this helps in sobriety, to replace an alcoholic drink with a “pretend” none alcoholic drink like virgin mixes or none alcoholic beers or wines. Does anyone know? The virgin bloody mary and listening to my audio book, Alcohemy worked in letting the craving and the irritation pass.
Hope someone out there can help me with these questions. For now, I am ready for bed and glad Day 4 is behind me.
Before I go, let me introduce you to Reyna aka “Lil Bitch”