I got “the call” today. V’s Spinal Fusion surgery is tentatively scheduled for December 2nd. This is a big big surgery for my 13yr old. It is necessary to correct his scoliosis. It hit me hard.
I decided that I didn’t need to add the extra pressure of cooking Thanksgiving for my family so I called them and canceled Thanksgiving at our house. My mother 1st tells me to stop crying and have faith. Pppft! I AM allowed to cry and feel and faith has NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT! Uuurgh, isn’t that why we are all alcoholics in our family? I learned from a very early age that the way to cope with pain was to drink.
Not me, not this time. I need to be present and sober for V! It’s not about me but rather him. I want no regrets if surgery doesn’t go well and I want my mother far away from me!