Day 31 and 32: Not Gonna Cheat Myself

Today (day 32), my son V and I are going to his 2nd and last pre operation appointment at the hospital. I have made my list of questions and am ready (dressed) to go even though the appointment isn’t until 1. (It’s now 9:30am).  I woke up at 4:30am to go to a spin class hoping that starting the day with a good workout will set my tone for the rest of the day and allow me to handle any emotions that may surface with strength.

This weekend my husband and I were scheduled to attend the Renaissance Festival on Saturday. Truth be told that I was looking forward to my first real outing were alcohol is the main event and me not drink. Mother nature has other plans, thunder and  rain and storms. 😦  I was also looking forward to getting out of the house, just hubby and I, before V’s surgery (Dec 2nd). As we spoke about it last night, we both didn’t know what else we could do that will enable us to interact with one another, be in a social setting and not be at a bar (the festival at least promised entertainment, people watching and gift shops). 😦  I think we are most likely staying home. It just tempts me to drink so that I can let go of my worries and go have “fun”.

This wasn’t the 1st thought of throwing my sobriety away. Yesterday (Day 21) I was at Target and passed the alcohol isle and I glanced over to it and saw the boxed wine (something I HAD to drink as to make it easier to dispose of).

Alcohol Voice: You ARE going through a lot. You have done well. You deserve it. Just sneak it in the house and drink it slowly. Aaah, do you remember that numbing feeling come over you? Such bliss isn’t it?

My Voice of Reason: No

Alcohol Voice: No one will know

My Voice of Reason:  I WILL!!!! YOU ASSHOLE AND I DON’T WANT TO START DAY 1 AGAIN AND I WOULD LIKE TO CONTINUE BLOGGING MY PRGRESS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!

And my kids deserve it and so does my husband. You know what? Now as I type, I realize that I too deserve it.

Just another sober day and I am good with that.

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One Reply to “Day 31 and 32: Not Gonna Cheat Myself”

  1. You DO deserve it!!!
    Great post although I was sidetracked that your Target sells alcohol! If my local Target did that it would have been the ultimate one stop shopping for me!!!

    Like

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