Day 97 No Drinking. Running and Alcohol. How my mind processes it

view from my bridge run

On my 3 mile run across the bridge yesterday, I came upon or rather… ran on-top of broken bottles of alcohol & a crumbled carton of wine. I then spotted a pile of beer cans near the lake below next to a sit (someone must have been fishing and drinking). It took me back to my childhood and remembering that this kind of trash was something I grew up with.  I grew up poor and thus lived in poor, and therefore surrounded by highly addictive people. As a child, I didn’t think anything of these broken bottles. It was all normalized. Now I wonder as I run across the beautiful bridge that has offered me beautiful views that give me insights of gratitude about the people who have consumed this alcohol. Who were they? Young underage kids walking over he bridge and tossing the alcohol to the ground. A dad or mom drinking and driving tossing the booze out the window landing on the jogging trail (someone like who I was) and maybe pollute the lake below the bridge? A young couple walking hand in hand celebrating love while consuming a celebratory beverage? As I contemplate those thoughts, my mind took me to my full marathon race on last Sunday and how towards the end of the race around mile 18, spectators where pouring small cups of beer to the runners. In my head, I asked what evil was this? Will Run for Beer, signs read. It just didn’t make sense to me. After a while and after mile 20, my mind went from judging to considering the beer especially because mile 20 was the MILLER TIME mile. Cold Crisp Beer was being handed out right before the water and gatorade station. “Hmmmm, it’s not a bad idea. Just a gulp. I can still count my NO DRINKING days.”  And so my mind went. Yea, but…NO. In addition to running for my sons, having a great run, feeling awesome, I also was celebrating 90 days of NO DRINKING. 😀  And so, as a woman practically puts her mini cup of beer in my hands, I tell her I am 90 days sober (I know I shouldn’t have used that label as I have occasionally smoked) with a huge smile on my face.  I wondered as I ran past her, what I left her thinking.  Was she sorry she could be tempting others struggling with the addiction? Did she have the same struggle and maybe I just planted a “sober seed” in her???? Who knows? What I DO know is that I am happy that I quit and that I CAN run on past the temptations without a 3rd look. 🙂 Stay healthy my friends!

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7 Replies to “Day 97 No Drinking. Running and Alcohol. How my mind processes it”

  1. It feels like you have planted a seed with the women. I don’t think anybody can hear that without thinking about it for a while. Those are the experiences that stick. What a misguided idea to hand out alcohol at a sports event. Hear, hear, I am getting less extreme, misguided is the 6th word that I tried in that sentence. Not sure it fits grammar wise but it is a nice, polite alternative to what I had in mind. Pffff…. soooooo misguided. 😀 (Testing a hair flip with it now.)

    🙂 Happy that you quit, happy that you quit, happy that you quit….. humming. 🙂

    xx, Feeling

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ghegheghe, laughing here. Somebody saying: ‘Use it in a sentence today.’ or versions of that, is, in our family, the utmost American thing a person can say. We saw it in a movie once and all of us where stunned, not sure why. It is so NOT Dutch. How is that sentence viewed upon in the States?

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  2. Yeah I will sometimes find myself avoiding broken bottles when I’m riding my bike and wonder why people toss them on the streets and such. Then I think back at how I was when active and can say that I was one of those midnight tossers. I had too many bottles to get rid of at home (i drank secretly) so I was always finding places to toss them. Don’t think I gave too much notice to where I dumped them. Ugh.

    Congrats on your marathon (I ran my first one in Oct) and your recovery time! Amazing!!

    Paul

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I too was a secret drinker. Wanna know where I tossed my bottles? In the gutter :/ sad. And being a avid recycler, it KILLED my soul to do so, but the shame pf my bottles being found out by my family would have been a more brutal death.

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