I woke up and immediately thought about drink. My mind racing to justify a day with it.
“You can start Monday,” says my mind.
“No! You’ve already started!” My souls replies in my defense.
I lay myself down now and am thankful to my God for giving me the strength and courage in surviving a day without my enemy. The day was filled with “real” life, real hurt and pain, real wounds, real issues and I didn’t hide behind the numbness of alcohol or pot. I had to face the reality of the sad state of my marriage, the declining health of my two boys with muscular dystrophy. I faced it while sober.
I had to see myself in pictures on Facebook from a recent destination wedding trip to Puerto Rico and really see how much weight I have gained (over 40 lbs) and it shows so badly. I could hardly bare it. I didn’t even recognize myself. I faced it anyway and did so sober.
It was a tough day and more to come, I’m sure of it, but will also count the victories. I am glad I added on another day of detoxing my body of alcohol. I have added another day in clearing away the fog in my mind. My liver is happy I didn’t invade it with my usual bottle of wine plus 4 beers. I have added another day in getting closer to trusting myself. I am thankful for these things and with those thoughts, I lay my head down content.
Good night and God bless