Day 4 all over again

I woke up and immediately thought about drink. My mind racing to justify a day with it.

“You can start Monday,” says my mind.

“No! You’ve already started!” My souls replies in my defense.

I lay myself down now and am thankful to my God for giving me the strength and courage in surviving a day without my enemy.  The day was filled with “real” life, real hurt and pain, real wounds, real issues and I didn’t hide behind the numbness of alcohol or pot. I had to face the reality of the sad state of my marriage, the declining health of my two boys with muscular dystrophy. I faced it while sober.

I had to see myself in pictures on Facebook from a recent destination wedding trip to Puerto Rico and really see how much weight I have gained (over 40 lbs) and it shows so badly. I could hardly bare it. I didn’t even recognize myself.  I faced it anyway and did so sober.

It was a tough day and more to come, I’m sure of it, but will also count the victories. I am glad I added on another day of detoxing my body of alcohol. I have added another day in clearing away the fog in my mind. My liver is happy I didn’t invade it with my usual bottle of wine plus 4 beers. I have added another day in getting closer to trusting myself.  I am thankful for these things and with those thoughts, I lay my head down content.

Good night and God bless

Advertisements

5 Replies to “Day 4 all over again”

  1. Glad you are seeing the small victories right now. Sometimes that is all we have early on in recovery. I remember white knuckling it so many days early on and just happy I didn’t take a drink. I had to find at least one thing which I could take away from the day.

    Congrats on your sober time!

    Paul

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s