Day 5 Beauty and Wine

Oh the appeal of mixing beauty with wine. 

I’m a makeup artist, I use to be more so until I realized that I was having wine, too much wine, at every event. It didn’t matter if it was for a bachelorette, a photo shoot or a wedding…alcohol was surely always to be there and sometimes even pot. 

Once, four years ago, I had way too much. It was a Christmas party that I was getting the ladies of the house ready for. Long after they were done, As I was gathering my things, I drank wine from the glasses they left behind while they went on to their party. I remember their frustration that I hadn’t left and there guests where arriving. 

I drove home drunk that night and preceded to have an angry episode against my husband while his daughter witnessed it. Oh the shame of that day! I’ve forgiven myself since and have asked them for forgiveness as well. 

That’s the time I decided to quite doing makeup. It has been just recently that I have picked up my brushes and started to do makeup again. This time not as a job but more like a hobby, an artistic outlet. 

Today, I had a client. I was getting her ready for her 30th High School Reunion party. She came in, hung her dress, started getting things out of her bag and pulls out a bottle of wine with enough wine for two, to share, she says. 

I go and bring two wine glasses and she pours. I thought that maybe one won’t hurt after all there won’t be more after that one. 

I started on the task of doing her makeup and while girl-talking, I am aware that one won’t do. It never does. I will find a way to get more in the house after she leaves and will drink tomorrow too. After all, I’ve had a severely stressful morning with a sick child along with several spousal arguments. All reasons to not stop drinking once I get started and so I left the glass alone, instead I focused to perfect the makeup look. Once my client finished her glass, I told her I was suffering with reflux and that she could have my glass and she took it.  

 I am one to be completely open and honest about my struggles. I am not ashamed to say I struggle with alcohol, just ask my church members and friends, so why didn’t I just let her know I was going sober?  I’ll tell you why. Because I didn’t want to close the door on future glasses of wine with her. I like her and her company. I’ve been around her several times and have enjoyed her company with and without wine. She doesn’t struggle like I do and I wish to be like that but I’m not. 

This too could have been cause to just say F it and go for the drink, after all, looks like I’m not ready to give it up for life. Yet I chose another route today. I chose to tell myself, just for today…don’t drink. I’m very grateful for this and thank God for giving me yet another day of strength and courage. 

As I reflect, I do wonder why beauty and wine do often go together? I myself would pour me a glass or two while getting myself ready for an event. It felt glamorous to do so. When did this start in history? Ancient Roman women maybe?  Doesn’t really make sense. Beauty and wine DONT go together for many reasons including the inflammation wine causes on the face, premature aging, dry lips and the list goes on. It’s interesting, to say the least, on how we’ve come to associate beauty accompanied by poison. 

In conclusion, I look forward for real beauty in me and lieu of the illusion of beauty. I look forward In finding my true beautiful self within and let it shine. I look forward for my skin to rehydrate and glow after the poison leaves my body. I look forward to my eyes lightening up and not drag from hangovers and sleep disturbances due to the sugar in the wine. I look forward to getting back my natural energy so I can move more and feel even better. Here is to another day closer to that. 

Day 5, I’m proud of you. 

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6 Replies to “Day 5 Beauty and Wine”

  1. Dear Light,
    Thank you for your post, beautiully written thoughts on drinking. I am happy you did not drink. I decided that I had to quit forever but realised that it is an addiction and so I think that means i have to re-decide that every day until it gets a habit. Thinking “I don’t have to drink now’ makes it easier. In the beginning not drinking ‘for the day’ seems overwhelming so I kept it to now. That’s all I can deal with and all I had to deal with. The thought of ‘day’, ‘week’, ‘year’, forever looked so big the overwhelm whiped my feet away from under me so my decicion is: “I don’t drink alcohol anymore because it is poison to me.’ As a tool I stick with ‘I don’t drink now ‘Congratulations on your day 5. Cool. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you feeling! Your support means so much to me. Gosh, I never even thought about just the now. You’re right though, the promise to not drink today, especially when the desire hits me first thing in the morning, is overwhelming and torturous as i push my way through the desire minute by minute. Changing it to “I don’t need to drink now,” feels like permission not to for that moment. I think this may work! Thank you thank you thank you! 😘

      Liked by 1 person

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