Well, the boys and I have made it to our temporary home. It is small, cute, cozy and it feels safe.
We arrived on yesterday and to my delight, groceries where being delivered to us at the same time we pulled up. Such a sweet gesture and generosity that my friend “H” is blessing us with. Also confirms that I’m on the right path with God as he starts showing me just how much he is capable of providing for the boys and I.
As we explore the house, I open the fridge and let out an “OH SHIT!”
I think to myself, “what am I going to do? Pour it out. I’m sure it won’t matter if it’s missing.”
Then I close the fridge door, look up, and…
FOUR BOTTLES OF WINE!!!!!!! I can’t pour those out, can I? I panick. Okay, okay, I got this, I can do it. I can ignore it, right? Yea, yea, I’m good. I can do this. If I get tempted, I’ll just move them to the garage.
Something within me laughs at this thought. “Yea, right. Like you won’t go into the garage! Haha! Funny. Nice try.”
So I move on, trying to get settled thinking up some way to deal with the issue and then I run into this…
That’s it! The devil is at work here. This is insane if I think I can live here. I know at some point I am going to come face to face with the pain surrounding my marriage. How can I allow myself to feel it and grow through it and hear God’s voice regarding our situation If I am going to be too preoccupied fighting this temptation!?
But still I have no solution. My friend “H” is out of town and so she is unable to pick it up and take it out of here. I’m in the kitchen at this point, looking for a blender as my friend “H” had fresh fruit delivered to us. I wanted to make a smoothie for my boys and I and so I start opening all the cabinets. (I’m laughing right now)
“OH MY GOD! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW!?” I said real loud causing my two boys to run into the kitchen.
You guys! I stumbled upon an entire cabinet full of liquor and more wine. I mean we are talking the works. Baileys for the coffee, tequila for the margaritas, whiskey, rum, and many more bottles of other types. Seriously, it was well stocked!
My phone rang and it was my oldest son whom was being dropped off by his cousin. “I’ll be there in 10 minutes momma.”
Cousin. Cousin doesn’t drink. Perfect. I hurried around the house looking for a something to store all the liquor and found a HUGE box, I placed every single bottle in it and pleaded with the cousin to take it away from the house. He tries to convince me to keep it and test myself, he thinks it will strengthen me. I ask him if he had any weaknesses. He told me. “So imagine living in a house full of that.”
He took it with him promising to bring it back when we leave here. I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off that I didn’t even think to take a picture of the box full of liquor! A whole bar was in that box. Geez! My temporary sanctuary was seriously compromised.
I felt so happy for the victory! So thankful I don’t have to fight that demon. I’m grateful for another sober day and so I sign off filled with peace and joy. It was a good day 20. Good night.