Day 20: Temporary Sanctuary 

Well, the boys and I have made it to our temporary home. It is small, cute, cozy and it feels safe. 

We arrived on yesterday and to my delight, groceries where being delivered to us at the same time we pulled up. Such a sweet gesture and generosity that my friend “H” is blessing us with. Also confirms that I’m on the right path with God as he starts showing me just how much he is capable of providing for the boys and I. 

As we explore the house, I open the fridge and let out an “OH SHIT!”  

Yup, a darn beer. 

I think to myself, “what am I going to do? Pour it out.  I’m sure it won’t matter if it’s missing.”

 Then I close the fridge door, look up, and…

FOUR BOTTLES OF WINE!!!!!!!   I can’t pour those out, can I?  I panick. Okay, okay, I got this, I can do it. I can ignore it, right? Yea, yea, I’m good. I can do this. If I get tempted, I’ll just move them to the garage. 

Something within me laughs at this thought. “Yea, right. Like you won’t go into the garage! Haha!  Funny. Nice try.” 

So I move on, trying to get settled thinking up some way to deal with the issue and then I run into this…

That’s it!  The devil is at work here. This is insane if I think I can live here. I know at some point I am going to come face to face with the pain surrounding my marriage. How can I allow myself to feel it and grow through it and hear God’s voice regarding our situation If I am going to be too preoccupied fighting this temptation!?

But still I have no solution. My friend “H” is out of town and so she is unable to pick it up and take it out of here.  I’m in the kitchen at this point, looking for a blender as my friend “H” had fresh fruit delivered to us. I wanted to make a smoothie for my boys and I and so I start opening all the cabinets. (I’m laughing right now)

“OH MY GOD! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW!?” I said real loud causing my two boys to run into the kitchen. 

You guys! I stumbled upon an entire cabinet full of liquor and more wine. I mean we are talking the works. Baileys for the coffee, tequila for the margaritas, whiskey, rum, and many more bottles of other types. Seriously, it was well stocked!  

My phone rang and it was my oldest son whom was being dropped off by his cousin. “I’ll be there in 10 minutes momma.”

Cousin. Cousin doesn’t drink. Perfect.  I hurried around the house looking for a something to store all the liquor and found a HUGE box, I placed every single bottle in it and pleaded with the cousin to take it away from the house. He tries to convince me to keep it and test myself, he thinks it will strengthen me. I ask him if he had any weaknesses. He told me. “So imagine living in a house full of that.” 

He took it with him promising to bring it back when we leave here. I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off that I didn’t even think to take a picture of the box full of liquor!  A whole bar was in that box. Geez!  My temporary sanctuary was seriously compromised. 

I felt so happy for the victory! So thankful I don’t have to fight that demon. I’m grateful for another sober day and so I sign off filled with peace and joy. It was a good day 20. Good night. 


11 Replies to “Day 20: Temporary Sanctuary ”

  1. 🙂 Good action! Cool! And for what it is worth: I think it is the good thing to do to take it out. I mean…. would you let a junky (sorry but also not sorry for the comparison because junkies are addicts too battling or not battling the same disease/misunderstanding of life) stay in a house filled with heroin, coke, meth and LSD? Why would anybody think that is a good idea? No need to excuse yourself or think you ‘should have been able to’; alcohol has decided long enough, now you decide and you do not choose alcohol. Which is a very good idea. ❤
    And eh, funny in a not so funny way how the Universe tests our resolve. 🙂
    Congrats on your day 20!!! Wishing you a very good time in your sanctuary. 🙂
    xx, Feeling

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are most vulnerable in these days. Satan will you with your every weakness. It will dangled in front of your face. Pray in Jesus name for Satan to stay away. Faw away, as you heal. May God of ALL take you under His wing. Melt into Him. Keep the light of His word with you every second of the day. In Him bow your head, get on your knees and pray, pray, pray…I am in thought of you. I remember Satan rearing his face, and trying to push me over the edge that I was still barely over. They always say another year marker brings back vulnerabilities. Well every day honestly does, but 1 month it will be 4 years. I am sticking close with Jesus in my pocket, my best friend, and Father!! Stay close to Him. 💗☝

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am in total agreement with you. Yesterday it was tough to get in the Word. I was oh so down and sad! In these moments I reach out to my prayer warriors and ask that they lift us up because I am unable. I still prayed even if they were small prayers “help Lord” I know he hears those too.

      You are very wise Sister. I will keep in mind about the markers.

      Thank you for being so strong in our Lord and sharing it with me. I can draw from His strength through you.

      Liked by 1 person

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