Day 37: 21 Again

My oldest son turned 21 yesterday. We went out and celebrated today by getting piercings. He had his ear lobes pierced and I had my nose pierced. I gotta say, it was such a delight to share this experience with my son. It’s a memory I will cherish forever. 

He is very aware of his disease and knows the older he gets, the higher his risk for heart failure is.  We both know his days are numbered and that turns out to be a blessing in disguise. We make every minute together count! We take nothing for granted because of this disease. 

As great as that was…I have to share, it was reeeeeal difficult for me NOT to invite him to the cultural tradition of buying him a drink for his 21st birthday. After all,  he is of legal age and isn’t that what is done? Besides (my addicted mind says) he should get to experience raising his wheelchair up to a bar, ordering a drink and letting lose. No talking or thinking about this disease, the fears each birthday brings nor our current situation with my separation from my husband. Gosh, I felt excited at the thought of having a drink with my adult young man. 

So what did I do?  I pulled close to my son, told him I was 37 days sober but also wanted to invite him to a drink.  My young man said, “and we won’t mess that up momma.”  I smiled and gave him a kiss. 

Feels so good to be totally honest with this mature son of mine. 

I guess I just wanted to be 21 again with my son, but now as I lay down to relax and reflect…I feel grateful for a sober outing not only for me, but also for my son. As for being 21 again…well, hey! I got that nose piercing that I wanted since I was 21 myself and never got because I was afraid of needles. Now at the age of 39, I faced the fear and went for what I wanted and it feels so good on many levels. 

Thank you for reading. 


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